Tuesday 3 September 2013

Travelling solo.

It seems a little strange now to say that I am here in Nepal by myself because to some extent it isn't exactly the truth. That being said I had really mixed feelings about being in Kathmandu without having known any of my new acquaintances for more than 72 hours during week 1. I don't have any trust issues so making new friends is nice and all, but where was that one person I could point out all the odd new things to? I guess Instagram helped me out a little in that respect, but you know what I mean, yea? Where was that one person I could share my frustration with at the hospital when it seemed like all the time I was about to invest there was going to be a total waste? (luckily that sorted itself out, so no worries).
However now that week 3 is coming to an end I do not feel all that gutted for having come all the way by myself.

First of all I had no idea this would be outside my comfort zone! I kept telling myself that going on my own to Nepal would be just like going to a European capital for a long weekend, only multiply the days I would be gone by 10. Most of the time you don't even want to return from your holiday, so how could this extended vacation with some work experience be anything but an adventure? Well let me tell you, this being my first time in Asia I have never felt a more exotic vibe in my life (though writing this from a franchise coffee shop under the Starbucks Company Ltd does not exactly prove my point, but the world outside its four walls sure emphasise it). And why would the exoticness suggest that I found myself in a slightly uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory? I love exotic things! I enjoy exploring new sounds, scents, textures and spaces. Why did all these new experiences (that I am really enjoying by the way) make me miss my usual habitat?  I don't have a magnificent answer, but I guess it was the uncertainty of my stay at the beginning. The first meetings with the staff at the hospital made me wonder how I was going to stand four weeks of dull days at the hospital followed by wandering around on my own and going to sleep at 9pm every day. At that point I just wanted to catch the first flight home, but I gave it a few more days and once I made myself a weird daily routine things started to get bearable and finally greater than I could have imagined!

What was I expecting, right!? Of course it seems obvious now that your mental state is going to have a bad time if you are used to organised institutions, guidelines, having things at least vaguely planned out, knowing that what you planned is usually executed the way you thought it out in the first place etc etc... I actually generally have very low expectations when it comes to most things in life- not because I have had oh so many bad experiences in the past that I have to watch out for (I'd rather say the opposite), but because it gives me a lower threshold at which to experience happiness. Thus I am pretty sure that I would have felt even more miserable with a slightly different attitude the past few weeks.

So now that I feel very content and enjoying the Nepali ways, I have merged another state of being into what I regard as my comfort zone. I tried convincing everyone before leaving that I would be fine coming here on my own, and truth is it has indeed worked out really well. I have learned a few things about myself that I never would have realised if I was accompanied by a friend, which is intriguing to think about, because there are a few people in particular I wish could have been here to experience it all with me. Some paradoxical truth right there!


I hope you are enjoying what I hear are the last days of summer in the northern parts of the hemisphere while I am still here in the monsoon-infested land of yaks and rice-fields! 

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